At what stage is it good for couples to consider staying apart in marriage?
Looking at the whole purpose of marriage the way God ordained it, God said it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone so he created Eve to solve the “being alone” problem. It means God did not intend that Eve should live far away from Adam.
We need to realize that even couples who live together struggle to build intimacy, so it will be uncertain if the intimacy can be maintained when they live apart. We may find ourselves experiencing temporary separation; let us know that God didn’t design marriage that way. We should let it be temporary and we should do things that compensate for the period of separation.
So, how can we find ourselves in this temporary situation of staying apart?
1) A spouse that goes abroad for a master’s degree.
Make up tips:
- a) The couple must ensure that one year of leave is exactly one year, no extensions to it.
- b) They must try to visit at least once during the one year period.
2) A spouse that gets a job in another town.
Make up tips:
If the job is good and the town is safe, the family should move. However, if it’s not safe for the whole family, the man should visit often (weekly or twice a month).
He should take his leave when school is on break so that he can spend time with his children.
3) If it’s relocation outside the country, the man should visit every 3 months and all holidays must be spent together with the family.
Make up tips:
- a) Communicate daily on phone, Skype, WhatsApp etc.
- b) Be emotionally present with each other even when you are about physically. It takes a great deal of sacrifice but it’s worth it.
As much as possible, let’s avoid situations that will make us stay for a long period of time.