Relationship Etiquette: It is essential that we learn good relationship practice. There are people who can never have successful relationships because they have no regard for relationship ethics.
They move from one relationship to another with the erroneous believe that the fault lies with the people they were involved with. Without learning relationship skills, showing respect to people, not being selfish etc there will be no hope of a successful marital relationship for them.
* Think of the other person first.
You can’t afford to be self centered. Whatever you want to do or say, think about how it will affect your partner. When we both put each other first, looking out for the good of each other rather than focusing on our own good, then we stand a very good chance of succeeding in the relationship.
* Always say ‘thank you’.
Don’t forget these magic words. Never take your partner for granted. Say thank you to show appreciation. Don’t say ‘he is doing is responsibility ‘ or ‘she is performing her wifely’ duties. Saying thank you will motivate your partner to do more. Your child, everyone deserve to be thanked after they render a help or a service.
* it is also important to say “excuse me”, “you are welcome” “please” “hello” “goodbye” etc
Let us be courteous and civil with each other. Your partner deserve to be respected. It doesn’t matter his age, her educational status, his financial capabilities, her level of intelligence or his spiritual disposition. Everyone deserve respect. Your children also! You particularly wants to see your children modelling these qualities. They will naturally pick these good habits from you by observation.
* Don’t be arrogant or loud
It is wrong to talk down on anyone, irrespective of their life situation. In your relationship, you can’t afford to be a bully. Your partner shouldn’t be walking on egg shells. Don’t give your personality as an excuse to be proud and obnoxious. If you can’t control your temper, then you need to get help.
* listen before speaking
Whenever we say there is communication problem, we actually mean there is a listening problem. The ability to listen and respond appropriately is a very vital part of communication. Learn to listen more than you talk. It is jokingly said that you have one mouth and two ears meaning that you listen twice as much as you talk!
* give compliments
This is so important in helping to validate your partner and strengthen their esteem. There will always be something to appreciate about your partner. The fact is that doing this may come more easily to some people than to others. But we can all learn how to. Give compliment on anything eg effort, looks, achievements, progress etc
* do not embarrass your partner in public or private
This will reduce the person’s self worth and erode confidence. Mind Your words, mind what you joke about. You can’t be caching your fun at your partner’s expense. Don’t crack jokes with anything your partner is very sensitive about. No body – shaming. We are to help build each other up, emotionally and otherwise.
* avoid criticising and complaining about your spouse to others
You can’t be berating your partner before anyone that cares to listen and expect the best from him/her. If you have anything against your spouse, tell him about it in private. That doesnt mean that you can not involve a qualified third party in your affairs when neccesary or not speaking out in case of abuse. What is wrong is for you to keep tearing down your spouse. Never show contempt for your spouse. Marriage has zero tolerance for contempt.
Respect your spouse’s time and be punctual. If you are going to be late, always call to let them know. This shows that you value and respect them.
* never make a promise you do not plan to keep.
That is very deceptive. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Sincerity is a virtue. Be real, be authentic. Deception is a relationship killer. Be true to yourself and to your spouse.
* show genuine interest in your partner.
Make effort to cultivate lasting friendship. Create memories together. Be in his/her world. Don’t be a lone ranger. Allow him/her into your space. This will help create a strong bond.
Most of the listed things are what one should have learnt as a child. But if you missed out on them, it is never too late to pick up a good habit. Be humble enough to admit that you need to work on yourself. Identify what is deficient, gather relevant resources on them. Learn, practice, be consistent and you will soon be on your way to becoming a better person whom people will love to relate with.
If you are married and you have been a source of pain to your partner, please for the sake of the love you share, endeavour to change for the better.
Are you struggling with any character or behavioural weakness, we are here to help. Reach out to us today….