CHAPTER 4
SWB: Akinsehinwa Oluwaseun.
My husband held me gently and made me to sit on the bed while I stared expectantly into his eyes.
“What’s going on Richy?” I asked as I swallowed nothing in particular.
“Actually I’ve been having this severe headache for the past one week now, I would have told you but because I didn’t want to get you unnecessarily worried plus I thought I’ll be relieved of the headache before our wedding but to my surprise it’s still persisting” Richard said and I stood up immediately placing my palm on his forehead.
“Oh Sweet you didn’t tell me that, what could have been the cause of the headache? We need to visit the hospital, persisting headache isn’t a good symptom at all.
Let’s go for a check-up or something.
Father every power that wants to attack my marriage, that wants to attack my husband, destroy such power by fire in the name of Jesus, I come against…..”
“Calm down Babe, you see why I was reluctant to tell you.
There’s no power attacking us from anywhere, it’s just a headache, it will disappear soon.
It’s not an attack”
“Okay Love but please we need to visit the hospital”
“I’ve heard you but can we go to the church now.
It’s our Thanksgiving, we shouldn’t get there late”
“And the severe headache?”
“I can still manage till tomorrow. It’s not like it’s that terrible. I just need a lot of rest and I need to avoid anything stressful.
That’s why I was unable to perform my duty as a man yester night but I promise you as soon as we the headache is gone, Hmn I’ll deal mercilessly with you on the bed” Richard said and I looked away coyly, now I’m getting shy.
He gave me a peck and I almost melt but the thought of his headache sent my whole body back to normal mode.
“Can we go now?” Richy asked as we interlocked our fingers and bounced out happily like the married couples we are.
At exactly 8:30 , we got to the church. The Sunday School teachers were digging deep into the topic for the day, funny enough the topic was centered on “Courtship”. My friend, Dunmininu was the Sunday School teacher of our class “Progress Class”. It was in that class that I met Richard who is now my husband.
Dunmininu smiled and winked at me immediately we got into the church and took our seat.
“Spoilt Girl” I said within me.
“It’s time for questions, any question? Please feel free to ask any question that has been disturbing your mind.
No matter how odd you think it may be to people’s hearing,ask” Dunmininu said to we the students in her class.
Several people raised their hands to ask questions, so Dunmininu started picked just three among them in order to save time.
The first person who stood up to ask a question was a young girl of about twenty years.
“Thank you so much ma for that wonderful teaching. May God bless you ma, you said the other time that intending couples must not engage in sex before marriage before according to Hebrews 13:4 , marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”
“Yes that’s very correct.
Every true child of God must keep the marital bed undefiled.
In fact it’s just that our youths of today have lost the ancient landmark, in those days if you are not a virgin and you are married into a family, the shame you and your parents will be rubbed with will be bigger than that of Tamah” Dunmininu said
“Hmnn, that’s true, that’s right….” They kept saying in agreement with the teachings of Dunmininu, while I kept imagining the kind of mind my friend has to be so bold enough to take this teaching even when she herself had faltered and is still faltering.
My friend get mind o, I no fit try am.
How will I be condemning an act I practice secretly myself? Well the Bible says I shouldn’t judge, maybe there’s a sacred place where she goes to to ask for forgiveness after every sexual act.
“My question now is…”the lady continued. “How will I know that my fiance’s something will be able to satisfy me when I get married?” The lady asked such awkward question and we all burst into laughter. Men! Some people can be very shameless sha.
How can you ask such a question in the church? Unserious element! I thought as I laughed on.
“Which something?” Dunmininu asked sarcastically with a mocking smile on her face and we laughed the more. But the girl no send o.
“I mean his pe…….”
“That’s okay, that’s okay, we understand” An aged Deaconess in our midst said irritatedly, looking at the girl with disgust, and moving her hand as if to signify that the girl will land in hell soon.
We could hear some other classes laughing too, who knows what yeye question somebori has asked in the other classes too.
After the laughter had died down, a woman stood up to answer the girl’s question.
“Well young girl, just as our teacher has said, don’t allow any man to sleep with you before they pay your bride price because the respect will not be there after marriage.
In fact you will not be able to stand before those who are coming after you to share your testimony proudly.
Imagine you been called upon to speak on the topic; Virginity before marriage.
What will you say?. Moreover if you are advising your children in the future to keep their virginity till their wedding night and one of your children ask you, Mummy did Daddy meet you a virgin on your wedding night what will you say?”
“Hmn, Hmn that’s true…Hmn” Several people were humming and nodding in agreement.
“Abih you think they can not ask? Children of nowadays will ask o” The woman added.
The young lady who asked the question stood up again not still satisfied with the answer.
“Listen ma, I didn’t say I won’t keep my virginity, I will, abih, sebi it’s just to keep virginity, no problem. My question is how will I know that his something, I mean his Johnson will satisfy my sexual desire”.
“Ahhhhh” Another roaring laughter was released as another woman stood up to answer her. I noticed the aged Deaconess stood up to whisper something into the ears of the Sunday School coordinator.
“Praise the Lord oooo” the woman who wanted to answer the question said to call the attention of everyone.
“Hallelujah!!!!!” We all answered. Men I was enjoying this crazy moment.
“I wonder why our men are not saying anything. But em young lady to answer your question, the thing is simple, you will just stylishly hold his something, you will touch it with your hand to see……..”
People laughed out loud , my husband stood up and went outside, I didn’t know what he went out to do.
But I was too consumed with laughter to even bother to know
“Ahn ahn, brethren, brethren what is going on please let there be perfect decorum. In fact no more questions. The devil has crept into the church stylishly, let us rise up and pray. Everybody say Father please have mercy, we have committed a grave sin ooooo” And that was the aged Deaconess. Our Sunday school has just come to an end. By the end of the service I noticed the young lady who raised that question was called to our Pastor’s wife’s office, for counseling I guess.
Service ended and I stayed for some minutes to gist with Dunmininu while my husband waited in the car.
“So tell me Babe how’s married life?” Dunmininu asked smiling at me
“Married life is sweet. But friend you no try at all, see as you dey preach sexless courtship as if say you be virgin, ehn, you get mind o. I no fit, nah stammer I go stammer all through. My conscience no go gree o”
“Wo friend forget that one, we dey beg Baba God for forgiveness anytime the thing happen and Him dey forgive us. No be my fault baby, nah Smith no dey gree to sexless courtship. Wetin I go do? Husband like him no plenty for town”
“But girl small small o, no dey take Baba God’s grace for granted. Make you no go exhaust your own grace” I said
“E no go finish, girl, grace no dey finish. E too plenty to dey finish” Dunmininu said smiling.
“Hmn virgin Nifemi, virgin virgin, sorry I forget , oga Richard don change that title. You and I, we are now the same. You no be virgin, I no be virgin. Oyah tell me now, how the thing go? as in the ……” I knew what she was trying to say but because I didn’t want to tell her there was no show last night, I just laughed and bade her farewell telling her my husband was waiting in the car. We hugged affectionately before I left to join my husband in the car.
I noticed my husband kept a frown on his face, could it be because I kept him waiting in the car while I talked with Dunmininu but I took permission from him and he said there was no problem,that I could wait to talk with her for some minutes .
“Richy I’m sorry for keeping you waiting in the car, please don’t be offended”
“It’s okay” he said sharply without even adding Love. I tried to bring up a topic that will clear off the frown from his face.
“The service of today was fantastic, the Sunday School especially.That lady that asked that strange question is so funny…..”
“That’s it , I don’t understand how a well cultured girl will ask such a question in the church.
For goodness sake, it’s a place of worship. And let me tell you that girl must have been sexually active with several men to have asked such question. Corrupt girls who try to corrupt the minds of other innocent girls. Nonsense!” Richard was blowing so hot that I was really perplexed.
“Calm down Baby, it was just a question” I said surprised at my hubby’s reaction, I have never seen him this angry, especially not towards ladies.
“An insensible and needless question. That girl should be flogged. Imagine the vulgar language she was even using. What if his something, which something? Rubbish. Thank God the teenagers and children classes are different, that’s how she would have polluted their innocent minds. People like that should be going to Mampa, prostitute house for the Sunday service”
“Ah! Is it up to that? Richard is everything alright? You are getting unnecessarily overboard” I said and as if cold water was poured on a burning paper, his anger cooled down.
“I’m sorry Baby,I just feel the question wasn’t needed at all”
“It’s alright baby, you know we have different kind of people coming to church.
The church is just like the hospital where different people go for different reasons. Some go there to work,just like our Pastors and the ministers go to the church to work for God. Some go to the hospital to receive medical attention because they are sick, just like some people need spiritual attention in the church because they are either spiritually or physically sick. Some go to the hospital pregnant and expectant to be delivered of their babies,just as we have people who go to the church to deliver and use their potentials for the growth of the church, while some are not sick or pregnant but they just go to the hospital for check up as a normal routine. The same thing goes for people who are spiritually sound, they are not pastors just ordinary members but they come for fellowship in the church to ensure that they don’t fall back into the world. My dear we just have to tolerate everyone and give them counseling where necessary” I said and my husband smiled for the first time after the incident in the Sunday School
“Thanks my love, thanks for the teaching I didn’t pay for, you had better go and join the Sunday School teachers. So which of the group do we belong” My husband asked and I burst into laughter as we drove home happily.
We got home and I took my bath immediately before going to the kitchen to prepare some nice meal for my husband and I. I went upstairs to call Richard to the dinning but he was already in the bathroom.
“Richy food is ready” I said.
“I’ll join you soon baby”. He replied. I was about walking out when I noticed a message dropped on his phone. His phone was on silent mode but the light blinked, I ignored the message, thinking he’ll see it once he’s out of the bathroom. The phone rang and I tried to check who it was, I picked up the phone and realized it was my husband’s sister, Dolly, who was calling.
“Honey your sister is calling ” I announced to him.
“Don’t mind Dolly, she just won’t let me rest. Don’t bother to pick it jare, I’ll call her back later” he answered from the bathroom
“Okay Love” the phone stopped ringing and just as I was about to drop it , my hand clicked on the message that came in few minutes ago. The message too was from his sister, Dolly.
I read the message. I wasn’t sure of what I read, maybe it was a mistake. I was shivering, my temperature rose up immediately. Maybe the message was a typo. The phone suddenly became so heavy in my hand.
Richard came out of the bathroom to see me holding his phone with my eyes red with hot tears.
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