CHAPTER 19
SWB: Akinsehinwa Oluwaseun.
“He that covers his sins shall not prosper……” My heart almost jumped into my mouth when I read the first part.
This is a stringent warning from the message my Pastor’s wife gave me in Proverbs 28:13.
“But whosever confesses and forsakes it will have mercy” I read the concluding part.
After reading this Bible passage, I knew immediately that there was no going back.
I must confess to my husband. But I can’t do this on my own, I don’t know what Richard is capable of doing to Jude if I confess to him that the man slept with me.
I made up my mind not to cry again, I was ready to face any consequence for my foolishness.
I have tasted the sour seed of sin , now my teeth is set on the edge.
I have dipped my hands impatiently into a hot soup, now they are burnt.
Sure, there are some mistakes that can never be undone, all that could only be done is never to fall into such mistake again.
I can not undo my adulterous act with Mr Jude, no matter how I wish to.
But I can make restitution where necessary.
The time was six pm already but I made up my mind that I’ll go and see my Pastor’s wife.
I know it’s going to be very difficult but I must act fast before the devil convince me to have a change of mind and abort this pregnancy.
I wore a casual outfit and took my phone.
Richard was downstairs still watching the football match.
I told him I wanted to get somewhere.
Because I didn’t want him to know I was going somewhere far, I decided not to use my car. I took a motorcycle instead.
On my way to the Pastor’s house, I thought of calling my Pastor’s wife to inform her that I was coming to their house and that I was already on the way but I eventually didn’t put the call through to her.
While on my way, my mind was not at rest, I was really troubled. How will I be able to spit out this confession before her? It’s a hard one. I got to their compound and was welcomed in by their maid. She met me outside while she was wetting the flowers. She led me in and gave me a cup of water.
“You’re welcome ma, Mummy is upstairs. I’ll go call her now”
I could hear my Pastor’s wife speaking on phone with someone, so I told the maid not to disturb her. I said I’ll wait till she was through with the call. She obeyed and went back to wetting the flowers outside. I guess my Pastor’s wife was in the varanda because I could hear her clearly from where I was seated. While still thinking on how to present my confession and where to start from, I overheard the conversation my Pastor’s wife was having with the person on the other side.
”My sister I don’t really know what this world is turning to. We need to pray for our people o. Hypocrites all over the places” she said and took a deep breath.
“It is well, imagine a whole Deacon caught in such an act. Who could have ever thought that Deacon Ijadola was having an affair with another woman in his working place? Hmn mnh, yes now. Do you know he has two children with her?”
As the Pastor’s wife was talking with whoever it was she was discussing with, I became troubled. Troubled for so many reasons. Troubled because my case was similar to the one they were discussing. Troubled because I didn’t want my case to be discussed like this. I was beginning to have a change of mind.
If I confess my plight to her, won’t she table it before someone else just like she is doing right now.
Hmn, sin is truly a reproach.
“Ah! Daddy said Deacon Ijadola will be given an indefinite suspension o. In fact he will will be asked to come out on a Sunday morning, during one of our services to confess publicly……..if he refuses to do so,then he’ll be excommunicated from the church” she continued and this time my heart truly missed a beat.
I quickly got up without wasting further time, I rushed out of the house. The maid asked if I had seen Mummy and I told her a simple yes. I lied to her.
“Confess openly during a church service?” I said in whispers as I waved a motorcyclist. Excommunicated? Now I’m thrown into greater confusion than ever. I had better confess to my husband and ask for his forgiveness instead, maybe he’ll join me to seek God’s face for divine forgiveness, but what if he refuses to forgive me?
I got home that night with more confusion set into my heart. I concluded that confiding in my Pastor’s wife will be a wrong approach, though she was the one the Lord used to deliver that strong message to me, yet I can’t afford to take the risk of being ridiculed openly. I am very sure Deacon Ijadola will never agree to confessing openly. I know him very well,he is one of the most respected Deacons in the church, no one could have ever believed he had such a huge secret somewhere. But how did the Pastor and his wife find out? Hmn, Deacon Ijadola will not be able to face the shame but there’s nothing hidden anymore because now that my Pastor’s wife has told somebody, that somebody too will find another somebody to tell and before we know it the issue would have become a wildfire. She doesn’t even know that I’ve heard everything, if I was a talebearer, I would have posted it on the church Watsapp group and then people will begin to comment from here and there.
I can’t tell her anything because if I do , she may tell somebody and that somebody will definitely tell another person. They’ll sit in twos and threes and begin to condemn me , they’ll say: wonders shall never end, just barely a month or so after wedding , she’s pregnant for another man. She’s a slut! She’s a pretender. She’s a husband killer!” Those were the thoughts going on in my heart.
“You had better don’t disgrace yourself, or do you think you will be able to bear the shame? Just abort this pregnancy and find a lie to tell your husband about how you lost your virginity” a voice said in my mind.
“Remember Proverbs 28:13” a gentle voice whispered to my mind.
I’m in a dilemma, I have committed a grave sin now I have to cover it up with another grave sin. I committed adultery and became pregnant, now I have to cover it up with an abortion, murder!.
At night when it was time to sleep, my husband noticed I wasn’t myself because I was sighing consistently, moving from one side to the other. He thought it was because of the sickness, he promised me he would come back home early tomorrow from work so that we can go to the hospital together. I told him not to be bother that I was perfectly okay but he didn’t believe me.
I didn’t sleep till day break, not even did I close my eyes for a minute. Sleep was gone away from my eyes. This sin has gotten the best of me.
Richard made me breakfast before he left, I ate it because I was really hungry.
He has been the one doing the cooking most times and I really appreciate him for his that. I kept moving from one room to the other, praying to God to have mercy on me and make me have a miscarriage if truly I was pregnant. It was a selfish prayer but I needed to save my face and save my marriage.
My mind went to my Mom, she was my last resort. I felt it will be wise I confide in her, afterall the Yoruba says no matter how bad your child is, you can never chase him or her into the mouth of a tiger to be devoured. But eh, Mum will be really disappointed. Mom will be too shocked to believe it. I didn’t stop thinking throughout. My husband sent me a message and told me he’ll soon be coming back from work so we can go to the hospital together
At exactly 12:30, while I was still contemplating on what to do, I heard a knock on the door. I knew it was my husband. He has promised to come back early to take me to the hospital but why didn’t he come back with his car?
“I know what to do, I’ll tell him I’ve been to the hospital and the doctor has prescribed drugs that I can take” Going to the hospital with my husband will only spell doom. I concluded in my mind and went to open the door.
As I opened the door before I could close it back, he caught my lips in his. He closed the door with one hand while I struggled to get off from his grip. I was really shocked. It wasn’t my husband, it was Mr Jude.
I gave him a resounding slap and his lip cut, bringing out a little blood. He wiped it off and smiled.
“Get out!” I roared.
“I want more Nifemi, please don’t do this to us. You love me as much as I love you” he said trying to move close to me while I withdrew.
“I don’t love you. Don’t touch me. Don’t come near me. I’ll scream to the whole world that you are a rapist if you don’t leave now”
“I can’t leave Nifemi. You are driving me crazy.
After the last time with you, it was as if my soul was knitted to your soul. Don’t you feel the connection? Don’t you feel the same thing?” He asked still moving closer to me while I moved back .
“I don’t feel anything. What I feel is disgust, hatred, regret”
“You’re lying Nifemi. You don’t hate me, you are just deceiving yourself. Face it Nifemi, you love me more than you love your husband, if not why would you give me your virginity, something you didn’t give to any man,not even your own husband”
“I hate you Jude.
Leave my house right now before I raise an alarm. You were just a mistake in my marital journey!”
“You know I was supposed to marry you , you know it yourself but he was faster”
“He is ten times better than you” I said angrily.
“A man who can’t make his wife happy? Ten times better than me? I broke your virginity Nifemi and that makes me far better than him”
I slapped him the second time and was about to give him the third slap when he held my arms , drew me closer to himself and was about to kiss me forcefully again but stopped abruptly when we heard my husband’s car zoomed into the compound. I almost peed on my body. Richard must not meet Mr Jude here.
“Please just pass through the back door, my husband must not meet you here. That’s him driving in” I said pleading impatiently with the intruder.
“What is he doing at home around this time. I thought he’ll be in his work place” he said not moving from where he stood.
“Please he’ll come in any moment from now, please leave” I knelt down to plead with him and stood up immediately I heard the noise the shutting of the car door made when my husband came out of it.
“Yeah, I’m in trouble. Jude please , don’t ruin my life, pass through the back door and leave”
“I don’t have to leave. We’ll just play along like the other day. I’ll pretend as if I came to ask if you are still coming back to work in my company”
“He knows about us already, Jude please leave” I said in whispers because I was expecting that by now my husband would have gotten to the door.
“But I love you Nifemi, please give this love a chance” Jude said and just then the door was flung opened. Richard’s eyes were as hot as fire. He held the door handle and stood on a spot staring furiously at Jude.
“What are you doing here?” Richard was picking the word one after the other between clenched teeth.
“Good Afternoon Mr Thomas, I’m so sorry I came without prior notice” he said smiling at my husband. He was really composed as if nothing happened. I was beginning to shiver already.
“You shameless idiot! So you want to come to my own house to harass my wife sexually? I know everything already, are you that shameless? How can you stoop so low to be pestering a married woman? If you are not man enough to get a woman why don’t you just….”
“Mr Thomas I won’t have you insult me. If there’s anyone who is not man enough here then it’s not me but you”
”What!” My husband exclaimed and looked from Jude to me, my hands were clasped as I began to stutter. Jude will definitely put me in trouble, now my husband will think I told him about his condition and that’s why he has the effontery to say Richard isn’t man enough.
“What did you just say?”
“You heard me Richard, you are not man enough!” Richard held him by his collar and landed a punch on his cheeks. I screamed and jumped up , begging my husband to stop.
“Richard please calm down!” I was already weeping.
“I won’t fight you because this is your home. I love Nifemi and there’s nothing you can do about it, she loves me too, she’s just afraid to say it because she’s married to you”
“I don’t love you Jude, please don’t ruin my marriage” I said amidst tears.
“You may say that to convince your husband but I’m quite sure a lady will only give her virginity to the man she loves” Jude blurted out and I almost fainted.
“What is he talking about?” Richard asked moving closer to me. One of his brows was raised, I definitely know that facial expressions, to say Richard is furious would be an understatement.
“Don’t you dare do anything stupid. If you lay your finger on her, you will regret it” Jude threatened my husband, who in turn turned to take a disgusting look at Jude.
“You bastard!” Richard said angrily.
“Nifemi loves me more than she loves you, ask her, she gave me her virginity. She gave me that costly prize because she loves me deeply. Come to think of it, I’ve been wondering if you are really complete , why will you leave your wife sexually starved weeks after your wedding? Man face it , I didn’t only deflower Nifemi but she’s also carrying my baby…….” I knew one between these two will kill the other today, it’s either Richard kills Jude or Jude kills Richard but I was too shocked to witness the end of this charade.
As the two started their combat,I felt so weak and collapsed on the ground.
Jude has definitely put an end to my marriage.