CHAPTER 9
SWB: Akinsehinwa Oluwaseun.
She was crying in agony, her weeping voice filled the whole atmosphere.
The fire burned her but she wasn’t consumed, yet the pains ate deep into her whole body.
“Please help me Nifemi, please help me.
The pain here is too much, give me just a drop of water to quench my thirst.
Help me beg God to have mercy. Tell Him to give me one last chance” she cried out in pains.
“Ah ah ah, there’s no mercy here, this is your final destination and it is irreversible. Prayers don’t get answered here. Your destiny is sealed. Ah ah ah” A demon responded laughing wickedly as the whole place vibrated. Echoes of mocking laughter coupled with agonizing cries filled everywhere. The darkness that surrounded the place was thick and horrible.
As I tried to move forward to pull her out of the horrible pit that was burning furiously, I felt a greater force pulling me back, the force was more powerful than I was, I was shedding tears and struggling to get myself free from the grip of this force, suddenly I landed into another very deep mire.
“Jesus!!!!!” I screamed , jumping out of my sleep.
Richard jumped out of sleep when he heard me shout, I was sweating and shivering, feeling cold from within at the same time.
I didn’t even know the tears I was shedding in my dreams were coming out of my eyes in reality.
Richard wrapped his hands round me, placing my head on his chest.
My heart beat increased.
“Calm down Babe, just calm down first, you’ll be fine, okay? Whatever it is, you’ll be fine” Richard assured me.
I had already lost my voice. I couldn’t say a thing, I was too terrified to talk, too terrified to resist Richard from holding me in that embrace. In fact I needed it at the moment.
“I had a terrible dream” I said finally after I had found my voice.
“We’ll pray about it, it’s not gonna happen. The Lord is in control. We’ve not really had our joint prayer since Sunday. Let’s pray Love” Richard wanted us to hold hands but I was really shaken up.
I remained in his arms as if I was afraid the demonic force will try to snatch me away again.
My husband was praying with all his strength while I kept whispering “Amen”. My heart beat did not return to normal till my husband finished praying. By the time I checked the clock, it was already six am. I had to prepare to go to work because I already told my Boss I’ll be coming, so he could take me to his cousin, the counselor.
“Babe do you mind sharing the dream with me?” Richard asked me after we were through with the prayers.
“It’s terrifying. I can’t”
“Okay Love but please don’t allow fear to rob you of the peace of God.
I can assure you that since we have prayed the dream won’t come to pass”
I nodded but I had my doubts, this particular dream doesn’t look like a warning, it looks more like an already completed work of the kingdom of darkness. They already have her, she is caught in their web already, she’s enmeshed, I must move faraway from her, lest I too fall into a deep pit while trying to help. If I try to help her, I will get hurt too. Maybe I should warn her ahead, but no it may be too dangerous for me. They may attack me for trying to interfere with their work. I think I will be praying for her secretly, yes that would be better.
“Would you like me to get you something for breakfast?” Richard asked, I didn’t answer him. I wasn’t ready to reconcile with him yet, not when he’s still lying to me.
I stood up, pulled off my nightie , wrapped myself in my towel and got into the bathroom. I rushed out of the bathroom almost immediately, I had a quick bath because I was still being threatened by the fear of the dream I had. Before I finished dressing up, my husband had made tea and fried egg to be taken with bread for breakfast.
“Nifemi, come to the dining, breakfast is ready” he said just as I was trying to wear my bra.
“Every normal man will get aroused even at this sight but nope, not my Richy, he didn’t even appear moved at all. Is this how I will continue with my life?” I thought within me.
“I’m fine, I’m not hungry, I’ll be coming home late today. I want to go somewhere” I announced as I picked my bag and walked out. Richard followed me from behind. He stood by the door and watched me drive out of the compound.
Maybe there is a scientific solution to impotency maybe not, I don’t know. Soon people will start staring inquisitively at my tommy, expecting changes. How do I explain it?
At exactly ten minutes after seven I got to work. Mr. Jude was already there. We all greeted him as he walked into his office. I settled down in my office thinking of what to do to keep me busy, Amara the closest person to me at work , came into my office. Though she was my junior at work, we were close to each other.
“Mrs Thomas, Mrs Thomas!!” She hailed. “Make God quickly answer me o, make I be like you now. See as you fresh. Ah! If Baba God give me husband like Mr Richard, your husband , for the rest of my life nah God I go dey serve. In fact I no go sin again” she said and we both burst into laughter.
“So if God no give you the kind husband wey I get, e mean say you go still dey sin?” I asked jokingly and she laughed
“Girl you no see the nice suit wey boss wear today?” She asked taking a seat before me.
“Na suit him wear? I no notice o” I said.
“How you go take notice when Mr Richard don use love cover your eyes, person like you no go see any other man jare. Nah people like us wey still dey for searching market, dey do dat kind research and observation” she laughed out loud while I smiled.
“I just dey pray say make the guy look my side, even if nah for once. Even if nah to just date me for one month and dump me, e don do. At least e go dey my profile say me too I don date oga before. Shei, respect go plenty. You no see as people dey respect you for this office apart from that jealous yeye Damilola”
“I beg your pardon, what do you mean by people respecting me in this company?” I asked politely, though I already knew what she was insinuating. Everyone in the office believes I had once dated the Boss but I didn’t expect Amara to believe such rumour because I had made it clear to her that Mr Jude likes me for being industrious and there was nothing more to it.
“Babe you know wetin I dey talk now. All those free lunch, preferential treatment wey Mr Jude dey give you, you think say I no know as the parol dey go?” Amara said smiling.
“Original Aproko wey you be, see girl I don tell you nothing dey between Jude and I “
“You see, you see, you don dey call am Jude, no be Mr Jude again. Just make sure you talk my matter well for him front, maybe him mah go look my side someday” she said as she tinkled me jovially.
“Oyah come dey go your post. If Oga catch you for here you go chop query”
“Na today I don dey chop query?”
“This one go pepper your eyes o” I said and we both laughed.
“Okay Babe, call me during lunch so we can continue with our gisting” she said before leaving. I placed my head on my locker praying silently concerning the terrifying dream I had.
At exactly four pm , my Boss came into my office to inform me that we needed to leave right away, though it was not yet closing hour.
“We should be on our way now, my cousin closes by five pm. Though I’ve already informed her she’ll have to work extra hours today because I’ll be coming with someone but we still need to set out on time in order to beat any unexpected traffic” he said and started walking towards his car without waiting for any response from me.
I quickly cleared my table, added a little powder and lip balm on my face before signing out for the day. Stepping out of my office, I met Damilola who gave me a wicked look before hissing at my face. I ignored her and went to Amara’s desk to inform her that I was leaving already.
“I came with my car, so I’ll just drive behind you” I said to Mr Jude.
“You may leave your car behind, let’s ride in mine, then once you are through , we’ll come back and then you can go home in your car” Mr Jude said and I agreed. We both entered the car and Mr Jude started driving.
“Abide with me fast falls the eventide.
The darkness deepens Lord with me abide.
While other helpers fail and comfort flees
Help of the helpless o abide with me”
That was the beautiful hymn playing in Mr Jude’s car. Mr Jude sang along, I was enjoying the music as well as the lyrics. It’s a song that suits this moment of my life.
“So tell me how’s life generally?” Mr Jude asked breaking the silence.
“Fine sir” I answered.
“I hope you aren’t having any unsettled debt after the wedding?” He asked with so much concern.
“No sir, my husband took care of all the bill, he gave me more than enough to spend on whatever I needed for the wedding”
“Oh, that’s really nice of him. Well July 30th is my birthday, we are going to be closing early from work because I’ll be holding an evening party at my house to celebrate it. It’s seven days from now, will you be coming?” He asked as he took a glance at me.
“Uhmmmm, I’m sorry sir but I don’t think so”
“Are you trying to pay me back for not attending your wedding or is it that your husband won’t let you come?”
“No sir, far from it. You gave me enough gift and also told me the reason for not been able to come. I just don’t like parties that much”
“So how did you come during your wedding reception?”
We got to our destination just before I could answer his question and I was really glad because I didn’t even know what to say. He took me to his cousin’s office. We saw a couple going out of the office, holding hands and smiling broadly. I felt relieved believing that this might be the solution to my problem.
The counselor, Mr Jude’s cousin was a young woman who should be in her early thirties. She looked so pretty. After we exchanged pleasantries, Mr Jude said he would wait in the car for me.
“You are welcome Mrs Thomas Oluwanifemi”
“Thanks Madam”
“Oh please just call me Tracy if you prefer”
“Okay “
“Alright, let’s get straight to business. But before then shall we pray”
I was surprised to hear that from her, the lady didn’t look any spiritual at all. I’m not trying to judge but she had her hair dyed in gold color, she wore crazy jeans and her make up was another story on its own.
“In Jesus name we have prayed” that was the last and only part of the prayer that I heard because I was already lost in my reverie.
“Amen” I quickly said.
“So tell me what’s the problem?” She asked and I took a deep breath, not sure if I could trust her with my secret, I think she read my thoughts because she quickly assured me that whatever we discussed in her office remained within the confinement of her office.
“I got married four days ago. I got married as a virgin but I later found out that the man I married is impotent” I said in summary.
“Wow!” She said pouting her lips.
“He has refused to tell me the truth himself but I found out through his only sister”
“Hmn! Have you confronted him?”
“Not really”
“What do you plan doing now? Are you contemplating on divorce?”
“I’m not sure what I want. I’m confused”
“You see one of the mistakes people make is that once they see the ugly head of marital challenge or storm rearing up, they begin to contemplate on divorce. So for me to know where to start from, do you want this marriage to survive the test of time or not?”
“Yes I do”
“Okay that’s cool. So go ahead and enjoy your man. Enjoy the other things people do in marriage aside sex” she said straight to my face and I wondered what kind of awkward counselor she is.
“Enjoy my marriage? Without the hope of having children?” I asked her.
“You can adopt” she answered.
“Just like that?” I asked.
“Yeah” she said smiling.
“Enjoy my marriage without sex?”
“Now you’ve nailed it. Sex, yep, that’s the problem. You want sex because you’ve fantasized about it even before marriage bah?”
“It’s my legal right. I waited twenty eight good years”
“Did you marry a Penis or a Husband?” She asked shamelessly.
“Excuse me, what arrant nonsense. I married a husband , his whole body, soul and spirit, with his johnson included”
“I think the problem is that you are concentrating only on sex which is not even the most important part of a marriage”
“I think the problem is that I came to the wrong counselor” I answered back angrily. She was beginning to make feel like a prostitute who is only concerned about the sexual part of her marriage. It’s my right, nobody should make me feel ashamed for being crazy about it.
“Mrs Thomas while you were dating your husband there was no sex , yet you enjoyed the courtship, can you tell me those things you did together that made you want to marry him?”
“I can’t remember” I answered angrily.
“Because you are consumed with the thoughts of sex? Like the thing is really painful, sexless courtship, sexless marriage” She laughed a little and that pained me a lot.
“Pathetic Counselor” I whispered under breath.
“I need to leave now, I still have to go back to the office to pick my car. I’ll come back later. I walked out of her office angrily. The woman is certainly crazy. What kind of counseling section was that? I’ll never step my feet in her office again. Is she even with a man at all? Does she knows how painful it is to order for something perfect online only for you to get a caricature of what you ordered, has she ever gone to computer village to buy a iPhone before only to get home and meet a well wrapped fufu in the package, that’s exactly what my marriage to Richard looks like. I got into the car and banged the door angrily. My Boss knew immediately that something was wrong.
“Are you alright dear?”
Hot tears dropped from my eyes.
“I’m not a prostitute” I said angrily.
“Who called you a prostitute? Tracy?” Mr Jude was about getting out of the car to meet Tracy when I continued ranting.
“I’m only asking for my legal right as a wife,for crying out loud he deceived me. I understand the Biblical principle of keeping my body holy till I’m married but the concept of a sexless…….” I paused suddenly realizing I had said more than I should have out of anger. Mr Jude was staring at me as I remained speechless.