Nwala: THE BITTERSWEET EXPERIENCE

CHAPTER 28 –
© OPEYEMI OJERINDE AKINTUNDE

Without mincing words, the kiss was a long
intentional one. Guess what? He did it on his legs. After we agreed to get married, Reuben put more
effort into getting back on his feet; A lot of therapy
sessions went into that. He wasn’t completely on his feet, he was still using his
wheelchair. However, occasionally, he made use of his
crutches like he did on our wedding day. His
wheelchair was on standby but he told me he was
going to say “ I do” standing on his feet and he did. I
could see it was a struggle, but he did it with the
biggest smile ever…
After the kiss, I insisted he sit on the wheelchair… I
whispered in his left ear…​
“I love you with or without the wheelchair,” I said and
I meant it…
In the last one year between when I agreed to marry
him and our wedding, I grew to love him truly. I saw a
caring, loving, God fearing man. One of the things that sealed it for me, was when he
took me to the house he bought for us. Firstly, I was relieved we won’t be living with his
parents, but much more than that was what he did
with the house… He made it disability friendly…
“I am not marrying you to weary you, or to be my
Nurse… I made sure the house is disability friendly so
I can move around, cook, wash, take care of the kids
on my own…”
I was touched to my bones and I fell to the ground
close to the wheelchair…
“What did I ever do to deserve you?’ I asked​

“I think you are asking the question the wrong way?
What did Reuben do to deserve you?”
“Thank you… You just assuaged my fear” I said
“You are welcome” he said
“I see that we can have our wheel ride here” I said
jumping on my feet and sitting on his laps. The wheel ride was a fun thing we did at his parent’s
house, I got a wheel chair and we raced in the
compound. I remember the first day I brought the wheel chair to
his parent’s house. He thought it was a gift. “No it’s not yours… it’s mine” I said
He had looked blankly at me​ “I am tired of looking down at you, I want us to be
able to talk face to face, and play together…” I said
smiling
He had been quiet…
“Wow… so thoughtful of you” he said
We had raced that day and it was 5:3 in his favor. Looking back, I think that was the day I won his
mother’s heart. As we stood there exchanging our vows, amidst the
smiles I was getting from everyone including fake
envious smiles, I was constantly looking over my
shoulder in fear hoping Daniel would not show up. After the reception, we were driven straight to the
airport. Our honeymoon had been arranged.​


I was filled with so much tension as we got into our
hotel suite… My fear about Reuben’s ability to make
love to me could literally be felt. His doctor had spoken to me and assured me from his
evaluation due to the progress he had made, having
an erection would not be an issue. It had been an
extensive lecture. MONTHS EARLIER…
“Doctor, can someone in a wheelchair have sexual
intercourse?”
“When you mean someone, I believe you are referring
to Reuben?”
“Yes sir, but it doesn’t change anything, I have
decided to marry him regardless, but I just want to
know if there is hope for it…​

“Yes… People who are wheelchair bound can have sex. Neurologically speaking, men who are wheelchair
bound sometimes can’t get erections, which was
Reuben’s case initially. Not getting erections is not
always the case, sometimes they do and other times
they don’t”
“So when they don’t get, what can one do?” I asked
“There are medicines that come in handy to help them
maintain an erection. Nwala, they ejaculate the same
as a normal man would do”
“Ok…”
“Nwala, you need to understand that people who are
wheelchair bound due to spinal cord injury, are
affected in sensations and or motor skills, which
basically means that they have difficulty or cannot
move a certain group of muscles or can’t feel. The
level of injury determine which muscle group is
affected. This has nothing to do with sex

Ok…”​

“The only problem a male might have is with his
erection a few times or moving while having sex and
that’s where you Nwala can help out”
“Thank you, Doctor,” * That conversation with the doctor had given me peace, but sitting on the bed, and reality was staring at me, I
was shaking…
“I have something for you” Reuben said
“What?” Reuben wheeled himself to his hand luggage, and he
brought out a white envelope. It looked bulky, and
when he gave them to me, it was very bulky
“Open it”
I opened it and saw a lot of hand written letters. “I call them “Letters to Nwala” I have been writing
them for the past 4 years​
“4 years… We didn’t even speak back then”
“Yes… so I wrote letters to you instead”
I checked the first letter…
“Hi Nwala, I know you don’t know me, but I hope to
be your friend someday”
“Wow!” I said and it took me another forty five
minutes to go through his letters. The letters made me
smile, laugh, cry. It gave me a bigger window into his
soul. However, one of his letters moved me the most. He
obviously wrote it after I told him I couldn’t go on
with the relationship if we wouldn’t try out sex first…
“Nwala, for the first time, you really broke my heart. You have lost faith in me. As much as I want to make
you happy by kissing your soft lips, and wrapping
you in my embrace to assure you that this accident
doesn’t stop me from being the man I hope to be for
you, but I can’t be in God’s black book because of
you…​
I love you and God knows this, I adore you
Your thoughts haunts me every second, But for my love for God
I let you go…” Tears dropped from my eyes and my heart exploded
in love, my fears disappeared and I rushed at him and
gave him a long kiss full of love… At that point, I
didn’t see his wheelchair anymore… I saw God’s
goodness to me… He pulled me closer and I sat on his laps and he
wrapped me in his embrace. Shockingly, when I sat on his lap, I felt it, there was
life in what I thought was dead!
Somebody shout Halleluyah!
To be continued..