Nwala: THE BITTERSWEET EXPERIENCE

CHAPTER 42 –
© OPEYEMI OJERINDE AKINTUNDE

No matter how saved a man is, No matter how Godly a man is, there is a part of FLESH in him.

I told Reuben everything, leaving no detail out. When I got to the part about having intercourse with Daniel, his hands could not carry the babies anymore, so he dropped them.

I told him about the medical explanation of how I could father the twins from different fathers.

Reuben wept like a child. I was too afraid to go close to him…

‘That explains the love you started having for me after you realized he was a beast after all?” Reuben summed it up

“Beauty, I gave you my life, I gave you ME! I loved you, yet I was not good enough. You weren’t enjoying intercourse with me, so you had to go back to Daniel!” He said

“I didn’t go back to him, because I loved him, I went back for him to reverse the curse,” I said sobbing

“Nwala, I thought you would bring beauty to my life, but you have brought sweetness mixed with bitterness”.

Reuben picked up Hezekiah and left the room.

I was blank, I didn’t know what his action meant.


In the next two weeks that followed my confession, I saw less of Reuben. He was not eating at home. He only came home to sleep. He had returned Hezekiah to me some hours after he took him that day; He had been crying for food.

Whenever I tried to speak with Reuben, he would raise his hand to tell me he wasn’t interested. The only time I saw him laugh was when he was playing with his son. I longed for his smile, I longed for his embrace of peace, but I wasn’t getting it.
My mother had shut me out of her life, and she warned me to keep my evil to myself. She had called me one Sunday evening after service.

“Hello,” She said coldly

“Hello mummy, thank you for calling me after so long,” I said

“I am calling to warn you, please do not let your siblings hear the evil you have done, keep it to yourself before you rub your disgrace on them”. She had ended the call abruptly.

From time to time, Bishop would call to greet me. We also had unspoken words in the air between us. I had questions I needed to ask.

The only person I was in touch with and could call any day was Amara…

“Amara, is it wrong for me to pray that Amos should die? His presence in my life is the absence of peace and joy in my life”

“Don’t add murder to your list of crimes” Amara had scolded me

“What can I do to get back my Reuben, My Reuben is gone, His soul is hurt and far away from me,” I said weeping bitterly.

“You keep apologizing and praying for mercy. Commit his heart to God, and try to win him back sexually”

Instead of implementing Amara’s advise from the first, I decided to start from the last…


One evening, I had pampered and soaked myself in a fragrant-filled bath. It was a fragrance that stimulated desire. Reuben walked into our master bedroom. He was familiar with the fragrance. I had used it a few times, like on his birthday and our wedding anniversary… In our marriage, I had treated Reuben as a child who got good intercourse as a special treat.

“What is happening?” Reuben asked very angrily when he walked in on me in very skimpy wear…

“Babe, I have missed you,” I said stupidly because the facial reaction I got from Reuben showed that what I just uttered was pure stupidity.

“You missed me… Beauty…? Tell me who did you miss? the stupid Reuben who thought if I kept loving you, you would one day love me back… Tell me? The Reuben who you made love to like you were doing him a favor? Tell me Beauty? Which Reuben are you missing? The one who you made love to sweetly for the first time in years after you made love to the love of your life… Thinking about it, I only got to enjoy lovemaking with you, because Daniel had satisfied you. No wonder, your womb could not stand having my child as your first. My child had to come second because I am just the man you married. After all, the one you loved was not good husband material…
Nwala… Because I love God I won’t have a divorce, and because I can’t stand you facing public shame; it would kill me, I would want us to see each other as neighbors. We are separated but still living together.

I will take care of everything that has to do with you and my son, but for Daniel’s son I don’t want to have anything to do with him, and most importantly, This! You were about to do with me… DON’T YOU EVER BRING IT UP AGAIN…”

The life of living as a single married woman started for me.

There were times I was tempted by the thought of killing Amos, but the fear of God would not let me.

Reuben and I lived like housemates for a year. When the boys were about to turn 1 year old, I decided to pay my father-in-law a private meeting at his office.

TO BE CONTINUED…