You’re single and in a rush to get married. What’s the reason?
There are many singles out there for marriage and when you ask them why they want to get married so badly their answers vary. Most times the reasons they give are selfish and sometimes immature.
The following reasons are very common:
1) I’m getting too old.
There is no denying that time ticks everyday but you shouldn’t bow down to the pressure of age and end up with the wrong person. You may end up being married for only a few years and go back to being single when the marriage to the wrong person packs up. You may as well wait for the right person and stay married forever.
2) All my younger siblings are married and my parents are on my case
It doesn’t matter who got married before you. Do you just jump into any vehicle you meet at the motor pack without checking where it is going? You have a destination, which is a happy marriage, not everyone can get there. Wait for this person.
3) I am tired of staying with my parents.
Do you want to just attach yourself to anyone that shows the slightest interest in you just because you want to escape an unpleasant situation at home? You may see marriage as an escape route and anyone that can take you in is good enough. This is a no-no! Look well before you commit yourself to anyone. Your parents may be a pain in your ass but that marriage will be a much bigger pain in every part of your body.
4) I need someone to take care of me.
Usually ladies are looking for guys that can pick up their financial liabilities. So you want a guy with good job, nice car and willing to spend on you? If all you consider in the choice of a partner is the financial gain, then don’t complain when you become his punching bag or when he can’t stay faithful to you or even when he doesn’t respect you because he believes you married him for his money. Money or no money, look at the persons character, how does he treat you, how does he treat people generally? Is he kind and respectful or arrogant and brash?
5) I don’t want to hurt his/her feelings.
You can’t just marry someone because you’re afraid of hurting them. You don’t want to end up in a loveless marriage all because you’re shy or afraid to say ‘NO’. Don’t marry someone out of pity. Pity isn’t the same as love. Even if you have done the “Introduction” you can still back out of it if you see that the relationship won’t work. It is better you hurt the person now, than to contribute to hurt him/her daily in a marriage you won’t be committed to. If you hurt him/her now, time will heal the wound.
6) I need someone to take care of the house and give me children… I’m tired of bachelorhood
It’s true that having a wife will help meet these particular needs but you need to know that a wife isn’t just for doing house chores. You probably need a house keeper and not a wife. You’re just going to put a woman at home like a piece of furniture. She needs you to be there for her emotionally and otherwise. Are you ready to also serve her in her areas of need? Will you give her time and affection?
Now this is hard saying but I will still say it! Pregnancy shouldn’t be a basis to marry someone whom you shouldn’t marry. If you made a mistake by getting pregnant or impregnating someone, that shouldn’t be the sole reason for marrying the person. If you make another mistake of marrying a wrong person because of pregnancy, you would feel trapped and may resent the person for setting you up. Eventually, you’ll start maltreating the person and want out. Think very well; ask yourself “if there was no issue of pregnancy, will I marry this person?”
Who to marry is a decision that will affect you for a very longtime. You can’t afford to be careless in your decision making.
You will succeed in Jesus name! I will love to take your questions and comments.