EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: Marriage is like a school where you learn something new every day.   Sometimes,  you learn same things repeatedly until you understand through mistakes or desire to get it right. You learn both intellectually and behavioural .  

Your IQ is a measure of your logical and analytical skills which helps you to succeed academically.  The knowledge that gets you through school.  While the EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is a combination of your cognitive skills (logical & analytical) and emotional skills.

EI is a learnable skill that can be developed and improved at any age.  Gets you through life and makes you successful in life (marriage inclusive).

What is Emotional Intelligence?   Our ability to recognize and understand our emotions, feelings, motives and those of others, and use these knowledge to effectively manage and regulate our emotions and those of others that makes them feel heard, valued, respected and understood.

Break in transmission.  Read and think about the above.  We will continue in a few days


Section 2:

There are 2 primary dimensions of Emotional Intelligence – Personal Competency and Social Competence.

Personal Competence

Self Awareness         focuses

Self Management     on YOU


Social Competence


Social Awareness             focuses on your

Relationship Building      interaction with others


Self-Awareness is the foundation of EI.  It is the ability to perceive our emotions, behavioural tendencies, strengths, weaknesses, feelings, how our behaviour impact others and how others influence us emotionally.  

Happiness, anger, sorrow, bitterness, being suspicious, ambitious, romantic, compassion, adventurous, satisfaction, insecure, frightened, overwhelmed, powerful, provoked, grateful, inspired etc are emotions  that we experience on a daily basis.  These emotions, when not recognized and understood by an individual, can lead to low performance, mistrust, health issues, relationship issues,  at work, home, social gatherings etc.  To develop this skill you must recognize the feeling and know why you’re feeling that way.

Janet is carefree, humorous and suspicious.  She and her husband were invited to an official dinner.  While having cocktail, a beautiful female colleague overlooked her to greet her husband and chatted with him and the husband did not remember to introduce his wife until after their conversation.  The wife also went round to chat with others.  During the dinner, she made a sarcastic statement about how passionate her husband is when performing ???? their conjugal role.   The emotions/feelings above, which she refused to recognize, ended up tearing her marriage apart.

Next time we will talk about the elements of Self awareness.