CHAPTER 25 –
© OPEYEMI OJERINDE AKINTUNDE
“Mum, he is paralyzed, and he told me the Doctor said
they don’t know the extent of the damage. Mum, the extent of the damage could be that he may
not be able to make me feel like a woman” I said to my
Mum
“Why are you thinking of the worst?”
“I am not thinking of the worst, I am just saying that if
I don’t sleep with Reuben before marriage to ascertain
his sexual ability, I can’t enter a marriage that I won’t
enjoy”
In all sincerity, Reuben had been very positive in his
recovery process. The doctors had explained to us that the accident had
affected Reuben’s waist and leg. The doctor believed
with therapy; things could be better but not back to
how things used to be. Reuben’s Dad was very open minded towards me, but
his mum did not mince her words at any given
opportunity. “If only Reuben didn’t visit Nwala at her school, he
won’t have had this accident” For Six months, I stayed true to our relationship, ensuring I was calling everyday and visiting him every
weekend. One day, we had a serious conversation after his
mother had compliment me.
“Nwala, I must confess, you surprised me. I had
thought that you would have dumped Reuben after
the accident and gone back to your old boyfriend, but
your dedication to your relationship is worth
applauding. I can’t wait to see you both get married” That last part of her compliment had been my
headache for months. Since, we were Christians, sex
in courtship was not part of the courtship package, but I was scared for my future. That day after his
mother’s compliment, I decided to take the horn by
the bull. We were playing games in his living room. He was seated in his wheelchair…
“Reuben, I want us to make love” I said
Reuben looked at me very surprised…
“Why?… I mean sorry that should not be my response” he said laughing at himself.
“My response should be it’s not time baby” he said
still laughing
“I can’t get married if am not sure about…” I said
bluntly. The old me still was present. I didn’t have to
complete my sentence; it was self-explanatory…
“Nwala, I believe the accident will not stop me from
performing conjugal duties, though for now, I have
weak erections in the morning, but the doctor assures
me that with time along with other parts of the body
that has been affected by the accident, they all will get
better… Nwala, don’t you believe I will walk again?”
“The therapy has not done so much” I said truthfully
“I will walk again” Reuben said looking into my eyes
deeply.
“Amen! Reuben, I don’t have problem with your legs, I don’t mind marrying you if you never walk again, but what I want assurance for is.. Will you be able to
make me happy on bed? I need assurance for that”
“And you think you can only get that assurance if I
sleep with you now?”
“Yes…”
“Then, let’s break up!” I had never seen that Reuben
before. “Reuben?” That answer of his should have been a
huge relief for me, but contrary to what I thought I
should be feeling, I felt sad and at loss.
“Nwala, I can give you everything in the world, but I
can’t hurt God because of you” Reuben said
“I would rather lose you than lose God” Reuben
continued
I was quiet “I can understand your plight, and honestly. I do not
hold this against you. Your fear are legit and
understandable. You are right, the therapy is not
doing much, I thought by now I should be on my feet, but what can I say than to still say “Thank you Lord, that I am not dead” Nwala, don’t feel burdened or
held down in the relationship by the guilt of “He is
this way because of me” No! Nwala, this accident
could have happened elsewhere” Reuben said and I
could see that he was fighting back tears…
“I am the cause of your accident” I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him Daniel did it, but I didn’t have the
nerve. Why? Did I still have a soft spot or pity for
Daniel?
“Nwala, I release you from my heart. If you can not
face this with me, then I release you, but please do not
go back to Daniel. You deserve better than him” A big lump had formed in my throat. My mouth refuse
to say anything as I wept. To be continued.