Nwala: THE BITTERSWEET EXPERIENCE

CHAPTER 26 –
© OPEYEMI OJERINDE AKINTUNDE

I was back at the house. I was staring at the ceiling
wondering what I ought to do. A knock at my door intercepted my thoughts. “Who is there?”
“Amara!”
“Come in” I said
Amara settled in on my bed. “Are you okay?” she asked
“I am fine”
“Can I discuss something with you”
“Shoot” I said
“Alright! Thank you. Nwala like you know, Life has
throw lemons at me, and with God’s help through
your family, I am gradually making lemonades out of
it. For years after my parents died, I have come to
terms to living off the remnants of others, No offense,​
but when mum goes shopping, and she gets you five
tops for instance, she will generously get me two, but
most times you usually end up not liking most of the
wears and you give them to me. At this point, I think I
don’t mind if you give me something you may not be
using any more”
“Like what?” I asked
“Reuben”
I lost her for some seconds. It felt like my brain froze. The effrontery! The well-articulated speech! The
begging with Wisdom!
The trance or premonition about her and Reuben
ending up together flashed before me…
“Amara, please leave my room!”
“I will leave after you tell me where you stand with
him. You have not left this house for a whole week, that tells me there is trouble in your paradise​ “And you noticed I have not left this house in a week, and your insensitive self did not think of asking if all
was well, instead, you came here to snatch my
boyfriend. Well, since you came here to find out my
relationship status, here is your answer… My
relationship is fine… can you leave right now?”
“I know it is not fine”
“Amara! What is it? What do you want to hear” I
yelled
“The truth!”
“Oh you think you can take what I drop? No you can’t
take this, because this is beyond you…”
“Try me” Amara replied defiantly
I was losing it by the minute…​
“Can you marry a man who may be relegated to the
wheelchair forever?” I said making it sound like a big
deal. “You said “May be relegated”, you are not sure, if I
were you, considering the fact that he is a Godly man, being on a wheelchair will be the least of my worries”
“So you wouldn’t mind not having kids? Amara! he is
partially paralyzed from his waist down” I said
screaming in frustration. “At least he is only partly paralyzed, does that not give
you hope that things will get better” Amara said
defiantly again
“So while I wait, I won’t enjoy love making? Or how
do you think romance and lovemaking will be with a
partially paralyzed man?”
“Nwala, is marriage all about sex?” Amara asked
“Is it not?​
“No… my dear, if marriage was only about sex, why do
women who give their husband good sex not keep
their homes? Nwala, which would you prefer, a wife- beater and emotionally abusive husband who is good
in sex? Or a good loving, caring husband who is not
good in bed?”
“That’s a rhetorical question, the second option is the
most logical one, but sweetheart what is marriage
without good sex?” I asked
“What is marriage without peace?” Amara answered
my question with a question. I went mute and that gave Amara the time to say more. “Nwala, I would rather marry a man who is Godly, caring, loving and gives me peace, than a man who
will eventually kill me before my time. Don’t you think having peace and living a long life is
better than a short life full of sex​.
“So Amara, you can marry an impotent man?”
“Yes… Nwala, what is impotency?” She asked
“Inability to make love to a woman” I answered
“No that is limiting it to one area of life. Impotency in
a man is the inability of a man to meet his partner’s
needs. And my dear, we have several needs: there is
material needs, financial needs, emotional needs…
Nwala, some men are financially impotent, but good
on bed… Ask the wife how she is coping. Some men
are emotionally impotent, they may be good on bed
but the wife does not feel loved… Nwala, if a man is
lacking in one area, you live with it and enjoy other
areas he is potent and productive”
“How do I cope with this?”
“If I were in your shoes, I would take my mind off sex, adopt kids, build and enjoy a friendship and love- based marriage​.
“Your father and I have not had sexual intercourse in
the last fifteen years because of your father’s health
condition…” My mother revealed herself from the corner she had
been eavesdropping. She entered the room after the
big revelation. I was shocked about the fifteen years. My parents still behaved like lovebirds, hugging and
kissing themselves all over the house. “Sex is part of the marriage pack, alongside friendship, peace, communication, love, and so on… It is not the
main thing. Nwala, Amara came to me asking if I was
serious about giving her Reuben if you were not
interested, and I told her to come ask you personally
for the last time. Just as I wanted a good life for you, so also I owe her a good life, her mother was my best
friend, sister, helper, so Amara’s joy is important to
me”
I stood staring at both of them with so much emotions
tugging at my heart; from disbelief, betrayal, indecision all happening to me at the same time. “Give me sometime to think about it” I replied​.

How long” You have left him for a week, and this is
the best time to get his attention. Now, he will be
hurting and needing a friend…” Amara said
I couldn’t believe Amara had it all thought out. “Give me a day” I said with a note of finality in my
voice.
To be continued​…….