We have all heard that in any relationship that the quality of time is so much better than the quantity of time you spend together. Would you rather spend five minutes of close time with your partner or spend two hours of time with your partner doing nothing? In most cases people would choose the five minutes of time.
But, what if you just crave having someone close to you? Not necessarily talking or doing anything at all. Just knowing that the other person is there, in case you do want to talk to them or do something. Is that wrong to feel that way?
Really, there is no right or wrong answer to that question. It is all in your personal preference and whether or not you enjoy spending “doing nothing time” with your partner. However, keep in mind that spending time with someone you love should be time that you both enjoy.
Being able to hop in a car on short notice and taking a day trip somewhere will mean that you are spending quality time for an entire day with your partner. In essence, you are getting the best of both worlds. You get to spend the entire day doing whatever it is that either of you want to do.
We all have those days when we just wish our partner had someplace to go that we really don’t want to go. Just to have some alone time to ourselves. Which is fine too. But when you get too used to that it can create problems in the relationship.
It is important to find the time to talk with someone, even when your life is busy, so that they know you do care about them. That you are thinking about them. If you call every day, or every week only to talk for a few minutes then you aren’t really connecting to that person. You may think you are, but in reality, you aren’t.
So, you are doing things backward in a way. What you think is quality is only half-assed quantity. Instead of finding time to be with or call someone for five minutes, let them know how much you care by calling or spending one hour out of your day really connecting and talking with each other.
You may feel like you are doing less, but you really are doing more. Taking just a little more time to make the other person feel important means you value quality over quantity. And our whole life is about making time for the things that are really important to us.
I guess what you need to think about when deciding on quality vs. quantity is what is important for you and for your relationship. Every couple is different and every relationship is different. With that said, know too, that every day will be different and some days you’ll get quality time from your partner and some days you may not get enough time, please show some understanding.
To your marital wellness….