Summary of ‘Beyond Words’ Communication Seminar Held on the 25th March 2016

  1. Marriage is a talking relationship.
  2. There is no master communicator. We can learn to improve our communication. We should be committed to improving our communication skills.
  3. Love is the heart of marriage but communication is the blood. It must flow freely. When there are issues, talk about it, dialogue and negotiate. Don’t let issues pile up, resolve them quickly.
  4. When disagreement occurs, we don’t have the right to convict our spouse. Leave that for the Holy Spirit
  5. Marriage requires 100 percent commitment from both parties for it to work. Spend quality time with your spouse daily. Give him/her your undivided attention, no phone, no Television and other distractions. You can start with 10 minutes daily; it will surely help your bonding.
  6. When communicating with our spouses, three things are important to consider- attitude, desire and motive of the communicator
  7. We may have good intentions but have bad attitude. Our communication must be with a positive motive. The motive should be- a better relationship with our spouse
  8. The atmosphere of my marriage is your responsibility.
  9. Compartment fighting: It can be achieved by making sure communication doesn’t break down even if agreement hasn’t been reached on a matter. The issue being resolved should be made separate from the other aspect of the relationship. Either of the spouses should politely switch the conversation into another topic of interest in other to calm the atmosphere.
    Later, when both spouses are in a better state of mind, the issue can be brought up…
    Issues should be resolved on the bed and with a bedroom voice, No shouting please!
  10. The Art of Touching! Touching should be done as frequent as possible. Don’t let your spouse walk past you without initiating a touch. You may even touch some special places!
    Physical touch is a road to faster recovery when disagreements occur.
  11. Rules of Engagement! Discuss and set rules with your spouse concerning various aspects of your relationship. For example have rules on how to resolve conflicts, how to create bonding times, Phone rules, Television watching rules, Gist time, 3rd party rules etc It will help to reduce conflicts.
    12. During conflict, separate the issues from the person.
    13. Be mood readers and not mind readers. Don’t expect your spouse to know what is on your mind. Observe to see the mood of your partner before you raise certain issues for discussion.
  12. Communication is incomplete without feedback. Ensure you get a response from the person you are communicating with.

*What does my spouse dislike most in my communication?
*What will I do about it?
*What are my strengths in communication?
*What are my weaknesses in communication?
*What are the top three communication challenges in our home?
*What we will do about it?

Your boat will not sink in Jesus name!