The single person is faced with a major decision to make as regards the choice of a marriage partner. It is quite Unfortunate that most don’t know what to look out for before making such decision. It is very important to engage your mind and your thinking faculties and not just depend on your emotions. Know this today, emotions usually becloud sound judgement!
When you have made a decision about this person, don’t just jump into marriage preparations before talking about very important issues. You need time for courtship. Do not say ‘I have known him for a long time’. You probably knew him as a friend or a colleague, now you want to begin to look at him and consider him as a spouse. Do you know that there are things you may be able to tolerate from a friend but can’t take from a spouse?
Don’t let your age drive you into marriage! You have waited this long, so waiting another 6 months or more to observe and go for appropriate counselling will not kill you!
Important issues to discuss before saying ‘I do’……
* How you were raised. Talking about your background and how your were brought up will help the other person have an idea of your formation. Both of you need to know where you are coming from. We are mostly influenced today by our background, our experiences, our personalities and our beliefs. You should do your best to investigate these major subjects.
You may want to discuss the following: Authority and submission. Household chores/duties, discipline of children, Showing of affection, Work ethics, Recreation, Decision making etc
Ask to know what these meant to him/her as a child and what it means now, and how it will be in marriage. The answers given will reveal a lot to you about what to expect if you marry this person.
Pls note, you may not get all favourable answers because there is no perfect person out there. But it will help you to see where you need to work on and it may even let you know if you should continue with this person or not.
For example the guy tells you that women are to be disciplined by beating them because they sometimes behave like children. He believes it and don’t want to change his mind about it, Pls don’t complain when he starts to ‘discipline’ you in marriage!
Going for premarital counselling will help you to properly deal with these issues. There are various assessments and exercises that will be administered to both of you that will help bring out areas of misalignments and show you how to bring alignment.
Invest time and money in preparing for your married life. How much do you plan to spend on the wedding and how much are you spending to prepare for the married life? In your wedding budget, do well to plan for books, courses, seminars, trainings etc that will help you succeed in your marriage. Remember, good preparation prevents poor performance.
Enrol for the premarital counselling course today.