You want to get married, why?

There are many singles out there that are clamouring for marriage. When you ask them why they want marriage so badly, the answers are varied and most times the reasons they give are selfish and sometimes immature.

  1. I am getting too old: very true, there is time for everything but you shouldn’t bow down to the pressure of age and end up with the wrong person. You may end up being married for only a few years and go back to be being single when the marriage to the wrong person packs up. You may as well wait for the right person and stay married forever.
  2. All my younger siblings are married and my parents are on my case: It doesn’t matter who and who got married before you. Do you just jump into any vehicle you meet at the motor park without checking where it is going? You have a destination, which is a happy marriage, not everyone can get you there. Wait for this person.
  3. I am tired of staying with my parents: You want to just attach yourself to anyone that shows the slightest of interest in you all because you want to escape an unpleasant situation at home. You see marriage as an escape route and anyone that can take you in is good enough! This is a no-no. Don’t run from fry pan into fire. Look well before you commit yourself to anyone. Your parents may be a pain or cause you a lot of hassles, but marrying a wrong person may be worse!
  4. Hurting from a break up: Sometimes, people could be too much in a hurry to hook up with someone else after a failed relationship. You may not be able to judge clearly when the wound is fresh and you are still hurting. After a break up, give yourself time to heal and get over that person. Don’t rush into marriage just to fill the vacuum. Ensure you are healed and restored before joining yourself to someone. It takes a whole person to make a relationship work. Don’t run into marriage because this new person is offering you a shoulder to cry on. Dry your tears and open your eyes wide to see who he/she actually is!
  5. I need someone to take care of me: Some ladies maybe in a financial strait and may need help. They may start looking for guys that can pick up their financial liabilities. So you seek for a partner with a good job, nice cars, and willing to spend on you. If all you consider in the choice of a partner is the financial gains, you may be setting yourself up for a surprise. Is the money and gift lavished on you done because of love or just as bait? Money or no money, look at the person’s character, how does he treat you, how does he treat people generally? Is he kind and respectful or arrogant and brash?
  6. I don’t want to his/her feelings: you can’t just marry someone because you are afraid of hurting them. You don’t want to end up in a loveless marriage all because you are shy or afraid to say ‘NO’. Don’t marry somebody out of pity. Pity isn’t the same as love. Even if you have started processes for a wedding or a ‘ceremonial introduction’ you can still back out if you see that the relationship won’t work. It is better you hurt the person now, than to continue to hurt him/her daily in a marriage you won’t be committed to. If you hurt him/her now, time will heal the wound.
  7. I need someone to take care of the house and give me children. I am tired of bachelorhood: It is true that having a wife will help meet these particular needs but you need to know that a wife isn’t just for doing house chores. You probably need a house keeper and not a wife. You are not just going to put a woman at home like a piece of furniture. She needs you to be there for her emotionally and otherwise. Are you ready to also serve her in her areas of need? Will you give her time and affection?
  8. Pregnancy: Now this is a hard saying but I will still say it! Pregnancy shouldn’t be a basis to marry someone whom you shouldn’t marry. If you make a mistake of getting pregnant or impregnating someone, that shouldn’t be the sole reason for marrying the person. If you make another mistake of marrying a wrong person because of pregnancy, you may be feeling trapped and may resent the person for setting you up. Eventually, you start maltreating the person and hurting the person. Think very well; ask yourself ‘if there was no issue of pregnancy, will I marry this person?’

Who to marry is a decision that will affect you for a long time. You can’t afford to be careless in your decision making.

You will succeed in Jesus name!