War room is a movie centered on Marriage, Parenting, Love and Prayers. I couldn’t help picking up my pen and writing down notes while watching the Movie. These are my thoughts.
- Communication is key in every relationship either in Marriage, Parent to child, among friends or even at work. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. For you to communicate effectively you must understand your spouse, children and friends love language and temperament. Love language and temperament profiling is the secret coding of an individual. Until you decode that code your communication will be impaired.
- Thrash the thrash – Yes. Thrash every negative feeling. Learn to unburden your heart. Don’t keep piling dirty emotions – anger, frustration, disappointment, failure, hurt, pains and even past hurtful experiences. The only gain you get from heaping them up is to build castles of distractions in your heart. They cloud your judgement, perceptions and feelings. They became shadows they dodge your steps, interpretations and understanding of situations around you. Find a means of clearing your mind of al debris so that you can find you. Don’t become lost in self pity and self righteousness. Find you first and stick to you.
- There is a need to understand What, Who and How of the battle you are fighting? You must know your battles and must times battles start with self? Are you procrastinators, who never get things done? Are you clear about what you want or you are confused? Are you lazy, lousy or brash? Define your battle? Remember that when you blame other person you shut the person out and invariably you have shut your marriage down.
- Don’t want for your partner to change, be the change you want in your partner. You cannot give what you don’t have. Until you begin to live the kind of life you want to see, you cannot demand from the other person. Change flows from within outside.
- I hear some women say why it is always the woman that must bear the entire burden? all I will say is two blind men cannot lead, one has to have eye to see. So if the woman is the one that has the big picture then let her bear the burden of ensuring her family members buy into the picture or else it will be a case of the blind leading the blind and we all know where that will lead to.
- Parenting is a very sensitive job that must be taken seriously. Practice what I call K- CLIP.
Know your child/ren
Communicate with your child/ren
Lavish Love, words of affirmation etc on your child/ren, its never too much. It boost their Ego, Self esteem and Confidence.
Interact and be involved with your child/ren
Play with them, just have fun, roll on the floor, dance, fight water battles. Just playTake your arguments and fight away from your kids. It sent a negative signal. Treat them as adults, admits your mistake and say sorry. - Get a friend, Coach, counselor or Accountability partner. Whatever you call it. Just get somebody that knows more than you, someone that have a better understanding of marriage. Your Pastor, Pastor’s Wife or Women Leader are not automatic family life experts except it is their calling and you see proven result of their competence.
- Be intentional about EVERYTHING. Your life, your marriage, your children, your health, the movie you watch, the friends/company you keep, your relationship with GOD. Enhance your life, make it deeper. Every human being was created in the image of God so we can all reach out to God. Find a way to sync with that inner cord within you; it will spring forth the greatness in you. Be focused, Be clear and Be proactive about What you want.
**Love is when you are ready to do everything to make your partner a better person expecting nothing in return. Then you have truly LOVED. Also let your Joy come from within you, not your husband, child or career. The Good book says the Joy of The Lord is my strength.
Written by
Bukola Aiyedofe
I CARE