Can this really be a blessing!

God said it wasn’t good for ‘Adam’ to be alone so He created ‘Eve’ to solve the ‘aloneness’ problem, it means God does not intend that ‘Eve’ should live far away from ‘Adam’. Companionship seems to be the original essence of marriage.

In today’s world, due to economic reasons, you see couple keeping two homes in different cities or countries. This can be a potential cause for infidelity, emotional separation, and even divorce.

We need to realise that couples that live together still sometimes struggle to build intimacy, so it may be more challenging when they live apart.

We may find ourselves experiencing temporary separation; let us know that God didn’t design marriage that way. We should let it be temporary. And we do things that will compensate for the period of separation.

What circumstances may cause these separations?
1. A spouse goes abroad for further studies.
Coping strategies:
-The couple must ensure that after the program, there will be no extension
-They must try to visit at least once during the 1 year period. The budget for the trip must be guaranteed before the spouse departs

  1. A spouse gets a job in another town.
    Coping strategies:
    -If the job is good and the town is safe, the family should move. However, if it is not safe for the whole family, the man should visit often (weekly or twice a month).
    -He should take his vacation when school is on holiday so he can spend time with children
    – Avoid allowing another person play your spouse role in the new town. For example a lady friend cooking for you (this applies to a man) or a male friend offering you ride to work (this applies to a woman)
  2. If it is relocation outside the country, the man should visit every 3 Months and all school holiday must be spent together with family.
    Generally, ensure you communicate daily on phone, Skype, WhatsApp etc.
    Be emotionally present with each other even if you are absent physically.
  3. Guard your heart while you are apart. Don’t give yourselves to behaviors and thought patterns that can make you vulnerable. Avoid music, films and other relationships that can get you compromised.
  4. Plan your free time. You get a lot of free time when you are alone. You need to plan the time because an idle hand is the devil’s workshop. Engage in wholesome activities like reading, exercise, church and other activities that can add value to you or the society.

Before you decide to take an offer that will cause this type of separation, please think deeply about it. The financial gains may not compensate for the downside of this arrangement.

As much as possible, let us avoid situations that will make us stay away for a long periods of time. Do you remember that when Eve was alone, she went gisting with the serpent? Loneliness creates boredom. And bored people sometimes do silly things to ‘kill’ boredom.

In conclusion, marriage is for companionship; let us strive to fulfill the purpose to which God ordained marriage. Stay together, the Lord will meet our needs in Jesus name!